The Lost Queen
by All-For-You-Sophia
Summary: What if Charlie had been braver and Hatter and Charlie actually rescued Alice from the Hospital of Dreams. There adventure continues with new obstacles and new romance lining Alice's path home.
1. Rescued

_Description: I always thought the movie Alice ended far too soon. I wanted to explore more of Wonderland, so I thought what would happen if one event happened differently and what new events would happen because of it. I hope you all enjoy and of course I don't own anything pertaining to the mini series Alice, darn..._

Hatter glanced around the corner and saw at least a dozen Suits leading Alice out of the Hospital of Dreams. He felt his heart tighten at seeing her captured. She had left him for Jack, yes, but… Oh, he just couldn't get her out of his head. Somehow he knew Jack was going to lead her right into this trap and if Jack wasn't man enough to save her, he would have to. Jack didn't deserve her. He threw her into this mess after all and lent no helping hand thus far. Alice had to come to him for help after all, what did that say about how much Jack had done to protect her.

Jack didn't deserve her, but did he? He wanted her, but why would she want him? She had a Prince. If they got out of this she might be Queen. Why would she choose a homeless, prospectless looser like him when she could have that? She would never choose him, he knew this, yet he knew he could never abandon her. She needed him even if she would never say so, and he needed her. In some strange way he was glad he met her, even if he was now homeless and being hunted by both sides. At least he was doing something. Even if the resistance didn't realize it he was fighting for them. He had to try, and he was tried of working for his enemies and pretending. She made him realize who he really wanted to be, and even if he wasn't the ideal person she would have guide and protect her in this world, he tried and that was all he could do, and that was enough.

Then he saw them lead Jack out as well. At least Jack hadn't organized the trap. Then again he had never gotten either himself or Alice captured under his watch. It hurt him inside that she trusted this guy who had done nothing but get her into trouble, and done nothing to help her out of it. And she liked him. What was this emotion and how did it control her so that she would forgive Jack of anything. This emotion, and she gave it all to Jack, and left none for him. Where was her trust and like for him when all he ever did was help and save her. He felt it for her, she had come back for him, didn't leave him behind, didn't push him aside, let him help. Oh, how he felt it for her, but she didn't have to return his feelings. Just so long as she acknowledged him, that was enough and he would fight another Jabberwocky for her if it meant she would be safe again. Well, he didn't have to fight a Jabberwocky, but the dozen Suits that stood between them might as well have been that enormous ugly monster.

"Black day…" Charlie muttered beside him. Then he saw Mad March exit the building and take the lead. That creepy homicidal maniac who might have been a little more pleasant when he was alive the first time. Alas, why did things always have to get worse, not better? With their leader at the helm the group began to march. It was time.

"Okay… Okay…" He said almost to himself as he gathered his courage. Then he remembered the odd man at his side who had less. "I know there are a lot of Suits out there but if we let them get to the Casino there are going to be a whole lot more. We have to take them now." Charlie nodded in agreement although he didn't look to assured in the matter.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. We've got surprise on our side, and we've got horses." The old man mumbled in agreement. "You see the bottleneck over there? If I go in swinging and keep the Suits busy for a few seconds that might give you just enough time to get in there, grab Alice, and gallop away." It was a suicide mission for him, but if it meant Alice was safe, he would do it. For her, he would do it for her.

"Bottleneck? Swinging?" Charlie mumbled in confusion.

"I'm going to need a sword." He said looking at him expectantly.

The old Knight looked down and mumbled something that sounded like, "No," and "I can't." Oh, he really didn't need this right now. He needed him to cooperate. He needed him to be brave. He couldn't save Alice on his own.

"Come on Charlie. Do it for Alice. Think how proud and excited she'll be seeing a real Knight in full glory. Be a true Knight, Charlie. Help me rescue her. I can't do it by myself. Please help me." He couldn't believe he was admitting that to this old man who always tried to one up him at every turn. But, if it was what it took he had to say it. He needed his help.

Charlie looked more reassured at this but not quite one hundred percent like he would have preferred. "Alright Harbinger, but I cannot relinquish my sword."

"Why not?"

"I am a Knight."

He signed. This was no time to argue. Let the old man have his sword he wouldn't use. So long as he rescued Alice, he would be eternally grateful. But he needed a weapon and they were running out of time. "Come on." He mumbled to Charlie and on their way back to the horses he picked up a large metal bar that was bent just at the end. It wasn't the ideal weapon, but he would have to make due. So long as they got Alice out of there nothing else matter. For her, he kept telling himself and somehow the words justified his self-sacrifice. For her, he thought again. For her.

-----

If she just closed her eyes tight enough she would wake up in her bed. This was all just a terrible terrible dream, Alice told herself. She opened her eyes to the dreary Wonderland city. A city that was higher than it was wide. So high, she was so high up and the ground beneath her feet so thin. She felt a great pressure suddenly on her lungs as she began to have a panic attack.

Everything was wrong. Everything she knew was wrong. Everything she had hoped for was now smashed. Jack didn't really love her, she had just been his objective all along. He had strung her along with his false smiles and words. He said his love was still true but she couldn't believe him. There were too many lies. Too many to bear.

She didn't know why but she longed for Hatter, wished he was here. For all she tried not to like him she did. Why did she abandon him for Jack? He had rescued her once when she had abandoned him, she couldn't hope he would do it again. He had stood by her through so much and she hadn't appreciated him the way she should have. She should have trusted him, should have appreciated what he had done and given up for her. Who was she? Nothing special. She had managed to loose everything in two days. Her home. Her boyfriend. The man who she had just met yet protected her better than the people she knew and thought she trusted. The ring that was her only ticket out of this mad world. She had found her father, but she couldn't save him so he might as well still be lost to her. It would have been less painful.

She wished it were earlier today. She wished she had never come here. She should have just stayed in the forest with Hatter and Charlie. She should have taken Hatter's advice and just forgotten about Jack. She wished she hadn't given so much of herself to finding him when he didn't even need rescuing. She longed for the forest where she could have helped Hatter fight with the resistance like he longed to do. Or just simply live in the forest forever within Charlie's fortress with just her two boys as company. It was all comparable to this pain and the inevitable death that awaited her when they returned to the Casino.

The Suits before her started marching and she had no choice but to follow them. This sombre walk to her doom. They hadn't walked very far when the Suits before her stopped and she looked up to see a large brown horse before she recognized it bore a rider she was even happier to see.

Hatter raised the large metal bar in his hand and hit the nearest Suit that had advanced toward him. He was not alone though in his attempt as Charlie road in after him and scattered the Suits even more. She gaped in awe at how well Charlie wielded his sword against the Suits. The man might be nuts but he surely is a Knight after all.

It took her a few moments to stop gaping and pull her arm away from the Suit holding her and karate chop him in the neck and give him a swift kick to the guts just to make sure he was down. She made her way to her nearest brave hero which just happened to be Hatter who was managing to hold his own against the swarm of Suits gathered around him. A few Suits stood in her way but she easily took them down for nothing was going to stand in between her and Hatter. Not this time. She had stood in the way too long and made the wrong choices. Not anymore.

The last obstacle in her way was the largest for Hatter was nearly surrounded by Suits though somehow he managed to remain on his horse. She prayed for a miracle, for nothing else would be able to get her to him without either one or both of them being captured and that was the last thing she wanted. Then her wish was granted and Guinevere was spooked by the commotion and reared up on her hind legs. Hatter somehow managed to hold on and the Suits around him scattered for fear of being trampled. The horse eventually regained her footing and began to gallop off of her own will but Hatter pulled her reins hard forcing her to stop and turn. Alice ran to him calling his name and he turned in her direction.

"Alice!" He called to her as she ran to him. He leaned over and held out his hand for her that she grabbed the moment it was within reach. He gripped her hand and pulled her up and onto the back of his horse. As soon as she settled herself and wrapped her arms tightly around his waste he pulled on the reins turning the horse in the direction they were to leave by. "Charlie! Time to go!" He called out before they began to move. Without waiting for a reply he spurred the horse on hard so that she galloped quickly away, tossing his weapon at a group of Suits as they fled the clearing.

She looked around herself and immediately became frightened. How did they ever manage to get a horse up so high in the city, especially when the walkways we're hardly large enough for her to walk on? The horse was running right on the very edge. One stray hoof and they would fall, fall… She clung to Hatter even tighter and began to silently weep out of fear and all of the other emotions that were bubbling up inside of her from mere moments ago. But this was not the time to cry, this was their get away, and whose to know if they we're safe yet? And what about Charlie? 'Pull yourself together,' she thought to herself. 'Trust Alice. The big T. Trust him, he's never let you down before.' She pushed her fears out of her mind and forced herself to look away from the edge and close her eyes. 'Trust, it will be over soon, you'll be okay,' she kept telling herself in almost a chant.

They road at this high speed for what seemed like ever with her body gosling against Hatters. They slowed every once in awhile to take a turn but then they picked up speed again. She keep her eyes held shut the whole time, not daring to look. Eventually Hatter pulled the reins brining their horse to a much slower pace, almost a trot and she finally opened her eyes. They we're now on the outskirts of the woods, far away from the city. He had done it. They we're safe. Her hero.

Before she had time to worry about him, Charlie road up beside them and Hatter pulled the reins so that their horse stopped. "Nice job Charlie. You're a true Knight after all." Hatter said as Charlie stopped beside them.

"Why, thank you," Charlie said with a smile on his face as he realized he had done a good job. Then he realized who was praising him and quickly added, "Harbinger," at the end, retaining his superiority he felt to Hatter and not the brothers in arms Alice saw them as. But she did catch another small smile cross Charlie's lips even after he tried to conceal it. "I brought along the net to conceal our return to the fortress. I'll attach it to Lancelot if you give me a moment." Charlie said dismounting.

"That is a good idea." Hatter replied. "Alice, you've been awful quiet." He said but she didn't reply. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She managed to reply not sounded as upset as she felt. Then she felt Hatter's hand on hers. He gently took one of her hands from his chest that she was still grasping hard. She eased her hold on him when she realized she was still clinging to him so tightly. She let him hold her hand gently, and she felt the comfort he was trying to give her, yet she refused to release the hold she had on him with her other hand. Holding onto him was more comfort to her than his hand. This way she knew he was still here, still solid and wouldn't blow away with the next heavy wind. "It's going to be okay Alice. You're with me now." He said giving her hand a little reassuring squeeze. He was right. It was going to be okay, simply because she was with him, and she cursed that it took her so long to realize that.

Hatter let go of her hand when Charlie remounted and without a word nudged the horse forward to begin their long trek back through the woods to fortress.

She hadn't realized how tired she was until the constant motion of the horse and Charlie's favourite song began to lull her to sleep. She refused to sleep though but just rested her head against Hatter's back, enjoying just being with her two boys whom she had longed for mere moments ago. She couldn't deny either what comfort she took in being so close to Hatter. She felt so safe with him. He had saved her yet again which she had done nothing in her eyes to deserve his relentless loyalty. Despite she was grateful and no longer longed to be away from him.

Her idle mind began wondering again to the Hospital of Dreams. She now knew what people meant when they said ignorance is bliss. She wondered if they bottled those emotions too. She could go for a nice shot of ignorance right now. Anything was better than the feeling that she was about to start crying any moment. And that's how the queen controlled people. Reel them in with one emotion they long to have and soon there addicted to every emotion. Hatter was defiantly against this world of instant gratification, but she wondered how many emotions he had tried. What it felt like. Just how addicting were they? How did he resist? What emotions did he long to have instantly? She realized that she knew so little about him. He knew so much about her and she so little of him. She felt that she was going to be spending a lot more time with him soon enough, she would ask him then. All these questions and so many more.

They reached the edge of the ancient city and Charlie dismounted quickly and called back as he hurried off towards the throne room. "Tie up the horses will you Harbinger. I feel like we should feast tonight to celebrate the return of Just Alice."

"Yes Charlie," Hatter answered dismounting and then reaching up to her and giving her a hand down. He smiled at her brightly until he got his first good look at her, and his face feel. "You've been crying. What's wrong?"

As soon as he mentioned it she felt the dam break behind her eyes and tears began to fall down her cheeks. He took a step towards her but she closed the gap between them as she threw herself into his arms crying, "oh, Hatter!"

He held onto her tightly as she cried into his chest. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Earlier today she would never have even let Hatter see her cry let alone in his arms, but now all she wanted was his warm arms to comfort all her losses. He was perhaps the only thing she could rely on in this crazy place, the only person she could trust anymore. He proved to her again and again that he would protect her, even when she ran away from him and got herself into trouble, he was right there. Now she believed him, trusted him, why hadn't she before?

She cried for a long time and he held her, gently rocking her back and forth and stroking her back, giving her every kind of comfort he could when he didn't exactly know what was wrong. When she finally managed to stop crying she slowly pulled away from him, almost afraid of how much she had just opened herself up to him, and what his reaction would be.

He looked kindly into her eyes like he was waiting for her to tell him something, but she didn't so he was forced to ask. "What happened in the hospital?"

"I saw my dad."

"So they do have your dad. Well, that's good isn't it?"

"He didn't remember me." She said beginning to cry again, but she had at least some control over herself. "When I was ten he disappeared. They took him and made him work for the queen. They did something to his mind so he would forget us. He drains the Oysters, Hatter. It's because of him all of this is happening, and he… he didn't even recognize me. He's too loyal to the queen, and he wouldn't even believe me. I thought maybe… maybe he was about to but then we got ambushed by the Suits." Without meaning to she began silently crying again.

"Don't cry." He said whipping the tears off her cheeks, but it was of no use for they were just replaced with fresh. "Hey, at least you know Jack wasn't lying, eh?" He said trying anything to cheer her up, even if it was something that clearly caused him pain from the way he said Jack's name. "That's good isn't it?" He asked as she looked away from him when he mentioned Jack.

"Jack…" She began and she felt new tears brimming in her eyes. "Jack was only interested in me because of who my dad is. That's the only reason he dated me. He said he still loves me and that that wasn't an act but I don't know how I can believe him. After everything he's lied about and finding out who he really is…"

"I wouldn't believe him. He's untrustworthy." He said letting his true feelings come out. His words stung slightly and he could see that. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry he lied to you. I know how much you like him."

"Liked him. I don't like him anymore. Not after all of this." Hatter smiled despite himself. He caught himself quickly and stopped but not before she saw. "And Jack has the ring, which I'm sure his mother has confiscated by now. I've lost my chance. There's no way for me to get back home now. I'm stuck here, forever…" She said crying afresh yet again. At these words though Hatter's expression creased and he immediately took her in his arms again. She stopped crying quickly this time as she began running out of tears but he continued holding onto her. "Why did you come after me, when I left you for Jack?"

"I couldn't let you go off with him unprotected. I knew he was playing at something. I just knew it and I didn't want you to get hurt. I failed though."

"How?" She asked pulling away from him.

"Unless I'm mistaken you're not crying because you're happy to see me. Jack hurt you. I shouldn't have let him take you without me. You wanted me to go, I should have tried harder. Refused to let you go without me. I should have been there for you."

"There's nothing you could have done to stop it. Jack was playing me a long time ago and you couldn't have made my Dad remember me."

"You needed me though. You wanted me to be there with you, I shouldn't have let you go." He said taking her hands. She could see small tears brimming in his eyes that she knew if she enquired about he would deny.

"Jack wouldn't have let you come."

"How do we know? If I had just tried…"

"You would have been arrested with the rest of us and we would be in separate cells at the Casino instead of here now. You probably saved my life Hatter. I'm eternally grateful to you. I thought about you when I was captured and I realized how ungrateful I've been considering everything you've done for me."

"Well…" He said with a slight pompous smile that he didn't actually mean which made her smile. "It doesn't matter, don't worry about it. Water under the bridge."

"It matter's to me, because… I like you. I like you and I don't want to hurt you." He stared at her blankly not knowing what to think or say. "Did you mean what you said before?"

"Hum?" He murmured coming out of his trance.

"It indeed looks like I'm stuck here. You promised before to look after me. Did you mean it?"

"Of course I did, and I will. If there is any way to get you home I will find it. If not then I will keep you here, safe, with me." He gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face, gazing into her eyes. "Do you trust me now?"

"Yes." That was all the answer he needed. His eyes kept darting from her lips to her eyes as he slowly neared her. He sought permission in her eyes and didn't see any protest there so he slowly lowered his lips onto hers where they connected softly like they should have that first time. She was very thankful for no interruptions this time and she got to feel his smooth lips move against her own as they kissed sweetly. It was just the two of them and the still twilight air. They heard not a sound but the soft noise of their lips moving against each others as they kissed passionately, feeling each others souls through their lips.

Alice had never had a kiss like this before. She felt so much desire and passion behind his lips that she never wanted the kiss to end. This was one wish though that her fairy Godmother did not grant and they eventually parted as slowly as the approach to the kiss with Hatter stealing small pecks as she backed away.

His eyes were clouded when he looked at her. It was a look she had never seen a man give her before. She would have called it love if she weren't so afraid of calling it that. She was afraid of the words that would come spilling out of his mouth is she stayed there any longer, so she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before saying, "Charlie's probably wondering where we are." He stared at her somewhat blankly as his mind tried to catch up with her words. "Don't forget to tie up the horses."

She whipped the tears stains from her face the best she could as she made her way back to camp leaving Hatter standing there thunderstruck.


	2. The Lost Queen

**Author's Note: I realize it's been too long but I hope this chapter was worth the wait and I want to thank you all for your support of this story because you really made this chapter happen.**

It took Hatter awhile to wonder back to camp but they still had to wait for dinner. Charlie had some sort of wild pheasant roasting over the fire pit and Alice decided she wasn't going to ask what it was this time and just eat it. Hatter sat across from her like he had the first night but tonight whenever they caught each others eye they smiled, as if they had a very amusing secret that was hard for them to keep.

During dinner Hatter made light conversation by asking her about her life back in the other world, about her job, about her mom. She noticed he kept tip toeing around the question of Jack but it was slightly obvious he wanted to know more about him and her relationship with him. He refused to simply ask the question though so she refused to answer him and instead answered the questions he asked in dept and told him all about her mother and her job and her childhood and friends and a bit about her father even though it hurt. Hatter listened attentively and so did Charlie.

Dinner was over quickly and even though she had had a very, very long day she didn't want to go to bed yet. Charlie began straightening up the camp for no particular reason and Hatter started becoming more and more silent signaling it was getting time for bed but she didn't want this night to end yet. "Hatter…" She said quietly gazing into the fire.

"Yes." He said brightly at the sound of his name.

"Tell me more about Wonderland."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me about how things were before the queen took power."

"Alright, although I don't know from experience. I was born long after the glory days were gone."

"How long has it been?"

"About two hundred years."

"Wow… but I thought Charlie said he was just a kid when the Queen took power. That would make him 200 years old."

"Yeah, he probably is. We have much longer life expectancies than you Oysters do. 200 is about the end of our natural lifecycle, but none of us usually last that long or anywhere close, what with food being so scarce and medicine being scarcer than food. No ones lived that long in quite a long time, except the Queen and her family, and that's just because they have the best of everything."

"How old are you then?" She asked beginning to worry about a possible large age gap between her and the man she was falling for.

"Just twenty five. I told you I wasn't alive anywhere near the good old days. Neither were my parents, but I know lots of stories about the old days. When you hang around the resistance as much as I have that's pretty much all you hear about, and my parents used to tell me stories when I was little which was why I decided to help the resistance when I was old enough. I've never experienced a life but what the Queen of Hearts has given us, and it upsets me to think that I may never see a better life than this." She wanted to say something to him but she didn't know what so he continued. "Well you already know about the Kingdom of the Knights but we had another ruler."

"Who?"

"The White Queen. The Knights ruled over this land and governed themselves and the White Queen ruled over everyone else and we had peace in all the land. Back then there was no inner city like we have now. We were more farming folk back then. Small hamlets with farmland far and wide and people only came into the city to trade or for a pint and some gossip. The Queen had her castle upon a hill far north and looked down upon her people with a smile. It is said she was a fair Queen and always had time to listen to everyone. They also said that she was beautiful beyond all reason, that men sometimes forgot there speech before her but she would always humor them and have patience to hear there business with her. She loved her people and they loved her."

"I bet her husband loved more than all the rest." She said thinking about every fairytale she had ever heard back home.

"She never married. She was our chaste Queen. Pure as fallen snow. They said she was married to the land and that we were all her children for she loved everything so much and had such great compassion and our pain was her own."

"She sounds amazing."

"Yeah. Now that's what everyone says about her, but I've heard even more fantastic tales. My mother was always a dreamer and she used to tell me that the Queen had magic powers." Her ears perked up at this. This was the kind of story she had been waiting to hear. Something that sounded at least slightly like a fairytale.

"She told me that the Queen never used her powers to influence peoples lives because she thought that it was wrong to interfere with people in that sort of way, but whenever anyone went to her and complained about that crops were beginning to fail because there was no rain she would say with a smile that she would see to it and then the next day it would rain. Or if the crops were a little too wet one season the clouds would part and the sun would shine bright for days. Then some people said that she taught the animals in the woods to talk and the birds to sing with words. Then others say that they would see her wondering the woods talking to the trees and that sometimes they would answer her. Others say she could conduct her garden flowers like an orchestra and have them sing to her special guests. I've even heard people say she used forest animals as messengers and she had a rabbit as her adviser."

"That sounds amazing."

"It does. If only it were all true."

"You don't believe it?"

"I know there was a White Queen and that she was beautiful, amazing and kind but I don't believe in her magic. She's been gone a long time, Alice, and people want to believe the good times were better than they actually were. We want to believe in magic and have hope that these dark times will pass, but nothing in my life has shown me that Wonderland is magical or that it ever was. There is nothing magical in a half drunk ruffian refugee spouting off about the good old days that have been gone 80 years before his parents were even born."

"What about your mother?"

"My dear mother was a dreamer. She wanted to believe it so she did and elaborated the stories when she told me. I was a child after all and even when I was little The White Queen was a legend and a story to tell your children before bed. Legends are never true. Yes they are based in reality but the story gets told so much who knows what's true anymore. When I was little I believed it all but our world has taught me that things like that don't actually happen. Fairytales aren't real."

"What happened to her?"

"Well, there is more to our world than just Wonderland. To the north is Winterland where it is eternally winter and uninhabitable. A world of ice and snow and absolutely void of life. To the south lies Underland. Truly a dreadful place. Not much is said about it except it is a desolate place. Barren planes and muddy pits. A few people live there but it's not a very prosperous land. That's where the Queen of Hearts came from. She ruled down there with her family, but over time all of her people left and came to Wonderland because they had heard rumors of how good life was here. The Queen of Hearts became angry and resentful about why she had such a desolate Kingdom and the White Queen had such a fertile prosperous Kingdom. She became envious to the point of madness and decided to declare war on the White Queen, only she never told the other side. She gathered her army and marched into Wonderland. The White Queen was eventually alerted because you can't be ignorant of a large army of Suits marching across the Kingdom. The White Queen called upon the Knights to protect the Kingdom and they served her and there was a terrible battle. And we lost. We lost everything. The Knights were all wiped out and The Queen of Hearts took The White Queens thrown."

"She killed her didn't she," she said with much more distress than she thought she would have about something that happened so long ago.

"Actually no. It is said The King of Hearts fell in love with The White Queen like every man did when they looked upon her. The King of Hearts, as it's said, is a very compassionate man, unlike his wife, and it upset him deeply that his wife was going to have such a beautiful innocent woman killed so he talked her into agreeing to simply banish her, telling her that banishment was so much worse than death. For some reason she agreed and simply banished the fallen Queen instead. She was banished to Winterland and on a particularly cold fall afternoon the Queen left her castle and began walking north and she's never been seen again. It's said her servants watched her off but they were all forbidden by pain of death to follow their mistress, she had to go alone. They said she left with only a smile as her parting grace, and that she walked slowly and with determination and such dignity even though she was crying. The only possession the Queen took when she left was a pot of her favorite flowers from her garden.

"The Queen of Hearts soon made it illegal to go within a hundred miles of our Queens palace because she wanted to discourage any love for our former Queen and she thought if we were allowed to walk the beautiful grounds of her manor we would remember what a beautiful Queen she was and the Queen of Hearts hated that she was renewed as more beautiful than she was. Then some of the housemaids began starting rumors that every tear the White Queen had shed as she departed from her beloved land grew into a beautiful white Lily because the Earth dared not let even a single tear of hers diminish. There was no way to discover if this was true or not since no one was allowed up there and there were set guards to make sure no one tried. This is where all of the rest of the stories first began to grow for we all missed our queen and things immediately started getting worse. The Queen of Hearts started stripping the land to build a large palace for herself. She wanted one grander than that of The White Queens, one at the center of everyone. One that would inspire aw and fear and respect among the people."

"The Casino."

"As it's known now. Then it was known as the Great House of Cards. The Queen of Hearts ruled with an iron fist, she wanted everything her way and she didn't care about the troubles of others. Then the crops began to fail and the rumors of our old Queen and her magic began to flourish and grow, for that had to be the reason the crops were failing as they never had before. The people looked to the Queen of Hearts for answers but she gave them none and so the crops failed and the anger we had all been holding onto for so long began bubbling up and riots started happening. That's where the resistance started and a man named Bill Lizard famously said that The Queen of Hearts would only truly rule Wonderland when the people forgot about their true queen. That's when the Queen rose up against knowledge and…"

"Tried to destroy your history and the Great Library was build."

"Salvaged actually, it wasn't built until a few years later, but I'm glad to see you remembered." He said smiling at her. "You remember you once asked me why couldn't we build our city on the ground? Well, that was all the Queens doing too. She was afraid of knowledge and she was afraid of us so she moved us all into one location but there were too many of us and she couldn't have us spread out over the land like we had lived for thousands of years so she built up and up and up and she thought that made it easier to keep an eye on us but it actually made things more difficult as the years went on and the city grew taller and more mangled and without direction. It made it easier for the resistance to hide and thus the Great Library was born, deep in the heart of the city where no one can find it unless you know where to look.

"Since we were all forced to live city lives there were very few people allowed to farm anymore. You had to have illicit permission to live outside of the city and the most important fact was at least a generation of undying family loyalty to the Queen, which was rare so very few families were allowed to farm, thus food began becoming scarce and we had all been unhappy for a long time but we tried to be strong and take it telling ourselves we were just moving forwards and that things were going to get better. Food shortages began being outrageously common and we began to riot more than ever before. The Queen needed a solution, a way to control us. So she came up with...."

"The Teas."

"Precisely. The Great Ring of the Knights had been in her possession ever since their downfall and she decided to harness its power and use it as she knew it could to rip down the fabric of reality and puncture a hole between our two worlds. It had been done before, by the Knights, but they just were curious about you. They observed you, just to try and figure you out in the same way we look at the stars and wonder what's out there. But the Queen of Hearts decided to use you to her own advantage. She knew emotions were a powerful thing and that it was because of emotions that the people were all against her. Then she had a wicked idea. She thought if she could control peoples emotions then she could control us and we wouldn't be against her anymore and that we would love her in the way we loved our former Queen. She couldn't use us to harvest emotions, that would have sparked an enormous outrage. But we didn't know much about you humans, so none of us really cared about you all so the Queen used that and began steeling you away and doing experiments on you until she found out how to tweak you just right to get shiny purely pure emotions from you. And the emotions were good, better than we'd ever felt ourselves out of our own will, and it was instantaneous. You wanted to be in love with someone you felt nothing for, boom love. You wanted to be happy but just couldn't make yourself, snap, happiness. So people got sucked into her world of instant gratification and began to rely on Teas to feel, but there were those who knew it was wrong what she was doing and didn't want to feel things unnaturally."

"Refugees."

"Yes. The resistance took them in and helped them even though it was and still is a dangerous life to lead. We have to find those good old days. We have to learn to start feeling for ourselves again."

"That's such a sad story." She said resting her elbow on her knee and resting her cheek in her palm and she realized that she had been crying silently along with his story.

"Yeah. Now you understand why I feel like I have to do something. I have to stand up for my people, for my family, for my mother, for our lost Queen. If we all just conform and become obedient and do nothing, then nothing is ever going to change. The old days are probably completely lost and gone forever but anything is better than what we have now. We have to fight back, I have to try."

"You're a good man, Hatter. I know your going to do great things."

"I'm glad u think so. I just really don't know how anymore. I just don't know what to do, where to start." She saw how much this upset him so she got up and went and sat by him putting her arm around his shoulder. "I do know one thing though."

"What's that?"

"It doesn't matter if I do anything else with the rest of my life, because I saved you, and as long as I keep you safe that's enough."

"Why? I'm no one important."

"My mother always used to say everyone is important, that's why my family was aligned with the resistance. Everyone matters, and you may not mean much to my world now that the Queens taken back the ring, but you mean all the world to me."

A silent tear fell down her cheek as that was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her and it was astonishing to realize how much she meant to this man.

Hatter didn't hesitate this time and simply leaned in and kissed her. His kiss still held all that it did the first time but she also felt his need for her. His desire to be loved and wanted as much as he did her and she tried to give him everything he asked for because it was the very least of everything he deserved. She had waited her whole life to feel like this when she kissed a man, went through many boyfriends trying to find this kind of love she desired so strongly ever after her father left, and here it was in the most unlikely person imaginable. He wasn't even human but she felt a deeper connection with him than she had any human man, or any man at all for Jack hadn't even inspired half this passion in her.

They kissed for a long time before a loud snore startled them and they quickly pulled away from each other to look over at Charlie who had laid in his hammock to listen to Hatters tale and apparently promptly fallen asleep when neither of them was watching. They both silently thanked God that he had long since fallen asleep so they didn't have to worry about him having seen them. They looked back at each other and Hatter gave her a weak smile and gently touched her cheek. "I think its time we got to bed. It's very late." He said rubbing her cheek lovingly before standing up and stretching.

"One more story."

"Tomorrow I'll tell you all the stories you want to hear, but I'm tired. It's time for bed." He said starting to walk away towards the post he had slept against a few nights ago which seemed like forever now.

"Hatter." She called out to him and he stopped and turned.

"Yeah?"

"You know the bed is plenty big enough for two people, and I feel bad about you sleeping on the ground."

"You didn't feel bad about it three nights ago." He said with a mocking smile and a light laugh as he walked back to her. "Are you sure though? I don't mind the ground you know."

"I am sure." She said and he just smiled in reply and walked towards the old bed and threw himself down on it, his head facing the baseboard, but not before placing his hat on one of the bed posts. She walked to the bed slowly and laid down next to him but the right way on the bed because she was somewhat a stickler for doing things the proper way and she felt like being obstinate even though she knew Hatter probably couldn't care less, especially since she felt he was at least half asleep right now from exhaustion. She turned onto her side and looked at his brown shoes lying next to her and she began thinking about the story he had told her. She felt so bad for them all now and what they had suffered. How much they were all still suffering because of the Queen. Then she began thinking about their real Queen. Their poor lost Queen, out there in the cold, all by herself and a terrible thought came upon her. Even though she already felt she knew the answer deep in her heart and she knew what he would say, she could help it.

"Hatter…" She murmured his name softly but he didn't respond. "Hatter." She said in her normal voice but he still didn't reply or make any motion that he had even heard her. She felt a little bad about it but she touched his leg and shook him gently until he grumbled in his sleep at being disturbed but didn't move much more that than. She gave up her obstinacy and turned around in bed so that they were laying the same direction and she gently shook him by the shoulder while whispering his name.

"Hummm… What is it? What's going on?" He mumbled as he woke up. "What's wrong?" He asked looking at her though heavy eyelids with as much concern as he could muster as he was at the brink of falling back asleep.

"I was just wondering what do you think happened to the White Queen? I mean do you think she's still alive?"

"Ummmghh…" He mumbled at the reason he was woken up and closed his eyes again but still answered her anyways. "Some people think she's still alive and living in the Winterlands, but I think its complete poppycock. She'd be over 300 years old by now. She's gone, and she's never coming back no matter how much people want her to. It's been far too long. If she were alive she would have come back by now. Don't worry about it though, it was truly a very long time ago. Just think about what Bill Lizard said though, and you'll feel better, at least it helps… me…" He said as his words drifted off as he slowly fell back asleep. She stayed awake awhile still as her mind went over again and again the horrors of the past few days but how lucky she was to have this makeshift home to come back to and truly the kindest man in the whole of Wonderland as her protector who was starting to become so much more. She thought about her mother and how she longed to truly be at her real home that was slowly completely slipping out of her grasp. If she could only tell her mother she was okay, that she had good people looking after her, that she loved her. She knew her mother would be worried sick. She had been gone days, at least 4 now. She couldn't believe how much her life had changed in such a short period of time. There was no part of her life was the same and that frightened her but just the sound of Hatters soft breathing reassured her. At least she wasn't alone, and he had said he would stay with her and she believed him. She trusted him and that was a nice feeling. So she drifted off into a deep sleep feeling happy and safe in their sanctuary and dreamed about a beautiful Queen who was talking to a frog about Shakespeare's Sonnets.


	3. Good Morning Sunshine

Alice woke up to a brightly lit forest. She couldn't see the sun but she assumed it was high in the sky from how bright the fortress was. She slowly sat up in bed and noticed the space next to her was empty. She gently touched the place next to her where Hatter had been and the blankets were cold. Her worries that were quick to strain at her heart and tighten the back of her throat were immediately washed away when she heard the sound of Hatter's voice a little ways off.

"I got that water! It's right there by the wash bin, like you asked me to do!" Hatter was shouting at Charlie over the cold fire pit. She smiled to herself at looked at her two boys and slowly got out of bed and approached them.

"I asked you to get two buckets of water, Harbinger. One for drinking water and one for washing up." Charlie replied in his usual superior manner than angered Hatter.

"All you said was go get water from the stream and pointed the way."

"I told you to get two buckets, and all I see here is one."

"How am I supposed to get two buckets of water when you only have one bucket!"

Just then Charlie noticed her standing there watching them and straightened himself up and bowed. Hatter stood there for a moment in confusion before turning around. "Good morning sunshine." Hatter said smiling brightly at her, all of his anger gone in an instant.

"Morning." She replied with a wide smile and a slight laugh at seeing how excited he was to see her.

"Although it's not really morning anymore. Its nearly mid day."

"I really slept all morning?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to wake you. I thought you needed your sleep."

"Yeah… I guess I didn't realize how tired I was."

"Well, you had been up for about two days, and gotten captured, twice."

"Hey, don't make fun of me." She said nudging I'm playfully as she passed him on the way to the bucket of water him and Charlie had been arguing about.

"I didn't say anything," he said defending himself as she bent down to the bucket and put her hands in the cool water and splashed some on her face. The water felt so good against her skin and helped to wake her up.

"So what was for breakfast?" She asked wondering what she missed for this was the first morning she was in the camp yet she had still managed to miss breakfast.

"Eggs and potatoes. We saved you some, if you're hungry."

"Yeah, that sounds really good actually."

"Great."

"I'll get the fire started," Charlie interjected.

"I'll help." Hatter said.

It was hard for her not to laugh while the boys made her breakfast for while they were trying to help each other they always managed to hinder more than they actually helped. Hatter tried his best to help start the fire but he didn't exactly know how to work Charlie's inventions. Hatter took over cooking the food but just as Hatter tried to help him with starting the fire Charlie tried to help with preparing the food even though there was only one frying pan and obviously too many cooks in the kitchen.

When she finally got her breakfast she ate one egg that was meant to be sunny side up and a few thin slices of potatoes that were baked with the eggs so they were like really thick chips now, but she supposed they were in place of toast because Charlie apparently didn't know how to make bread.

"So," Hatter said trying to make idle conversation while she ate. "What all happened at the Hospital of Dreams yesterday. You never told me what all happened."

Alice then proceeded to tell them the whole story while she ate, from Caterpillar to what they did for their patients, then all about her dad up until they were ambushed. She decided to leave out all the parts about Jack using her because Hatter already knew all about that and she didn't think Charlie wanted to hear all about her relationship problems.

"And he just disappeared?" asked Hatter looking very confused.

"Yeah…" She said setting her plate down now that she was done eating, "he ate this weird mushroom looking thing and then, poof. Up in a cloud of smoke." Hatter furrowed his brows as if he didn't quite believe it but he believed her so he was at a fork in the road and didn't know which way to go. "Where do you think he went?"

"I have no idea. I've heard stories about him before, mostly rumors, about him being, rather odd, but nothing about him being able to disappear."

"What about you Charlie?" She asked since he had been keeping quite for so long. "Know of any mushrooms that make people disappeared?"

"Certainly not." Of course. "But I do know there used to be a type of mushroom a long time ago that used to make people grow as tall as the tree tops and others as small as mice."

"Sure there was," Hatter said sarcastically getting up and picking up her dish to clear it away.

"Really that sounds amazing." She told Charlie.

"I never saw it happen myself of course but there were all these stories when I was a lad, but they kept all those mushrooms locked up, for they were very dangerous you know. Didn't want your dog ending up bigger than you were." Hatter stood behind Charlie and mimed crazy gestures and pointed at Charlie. She ignored him.

"Yes, that would be really frightening. Are there any other magic stories from back then?" Hatter sighed and shook his head and sat down on the log behind himself.

"Nearly everything had magic in it in the old days. This forest itself was once magical." Hatter snorted.

"What happened?"

"When our queen left it seemed she took all the magic with her, for magic can't exist where people don't believe in it, and The Queen of Hearts didn't want people to believe." Hatter laughed slightly and Charlie turned to him. "It's people like you, Harbinger, that killed this forest."

"This forest isn't dead. If I'm not mistaken I see trees everywhere."

"You didn't see the forest in its prime. It used to be filled with wondrous creatures you had to see to believe and the Queen kept the dark creatures like the Jabberwock and the Boraova at bay but when she went away the smaller more marvelous creatures didn't have a chance and they were gobbled up by the Whangdoodles."

"Poppycock, and there is no such thing as a Whangdoodle. No one has ever even seen one. It's made up."

"Just because their invisible doesn't mean they don't exist." Charlie said matter o factly and Hatter threw his hands up in defeat realizing there was no use arguing with a crazy stubborn old man. Charlie didn't say anything else and began whittling a piece of wood and Hatter stood up.

"Alice, can I talk to you, you know, in private." Hatter said motioning with his head away from camp.

"Yeah, sure." She said getting up and following him out of camp. She wondered what he needed to talk to her about that he couldn't in front of Charlie, which kind of worried her. She had fallen for yet another guy but she didn't think she could stand if the floor fell out from underneath of her yet again. She didn't want to be alone anymore, and Hatter meant more to her than all the others. She didn't want to think about what she would do without him.

He walked until he thought they were far enough out of camp before he turned to her and immediately pulled her into a kiss. He kissed her sweetly and deeply while holding her in his arms. The kiss didn't last long before he pulled away and smiled at her. "I've been wanting to do that all morning. I've been thinking about you." So that's what this was all about. Thank God. She didn't know why she was so quick to doubt him all the time from this morning when the bed next her was empty to just now. He had promised he wasn't going to leave her, and she believed him, she just wished she didn't have these moments of doubt. Every other guy she'd ever been with had always proved untrustworthy eventually, even Jack whom she thought she loved more than the rest of them turned out to be the biggest heartbreak so far. She wanted to give her heart to Hatter. He seemed to promise a better greater love than she ever thought she could feel but that also frightened her because the more she loved someone the more she seemed to get hurt by them.

So she decided not to think about it, at least for the moment, and just see how things went. Besides they hadn't actually talked about any of those big important words like relationship, commitment, or especially love. She knew all those words were brooding between them but they hadn't acknowledged them yet so she was fine pretending they didn't exist. They also had more important things to worry about that their relationship at the moment.

"What are we going to do Hatter?" She asked and he frowned at her because this defiantly wasn't the response he was looking for. "Now that I lost the ring, what's the plan?"

He sighed and his brow furrowed as he thought. "I really don't know, Alice. Nearly all of our options have been exhausted. The resistance is useless to us now that you've lost the ring, and Dodo still wants to kill me and who knows what happened to Caterpillar. The Queen has the ring now and I'm sure her security has been doubled since we got away and that psychopathic killer is probably still on our tail." His words stung her, because up until now he always had a plan, no matter how far fetched or dangerous or impossible, he always thought of something. Now it seemed like absolutely everything was against them and all they had in the world was each other and a 200 year old Knight. He saw that he was distressing her so he continued, "We'll find something. Let's start simple. What do you want, because I know it's changed since yesterday. You used to want to save Jack, and then your dad and go home. Now what do you want. What's most important now?"

"I just want to go home. Your world is just too complicated and nothing is ever what it seems and Jack doesn't need rescuing and it probably isn't worth trying to get my dad out of the Casino. He doesn't remember me and he doesn't even want to leave." She said feeling tears brimming behind her eyes but she refused to cry again.

"Home it is then. If that's what you want I'll get it for you."

"How?"

"You had to ask didn't you? That's the tricky part." He said and she could see his brain was working hard to get her an answer. "Ah ha. Now this is a very long shot, but the Queen will have the ring now and she's going to want to restart the mirror as soon as possible and that means moving the ring into the city. If we can ambush the Suits moving the ring then there is a possibility of getting the ring back, considering if there are only a few of them and they are unarmed, which is unlikely, but it's the only hope we've got."

"What if it doesn't work? What if they've already moved the ring or what if there are too many of them?"

"Then we'll think of a new plan. Don't give up Alice. I will get you home."

"What if you can't Hatter?"

"We'll just figure out things as they happen, okay?" He stared at her intently until she nodded and he held open his arms to her and she gratefully accepted his hug. They hug was just a short one but they parted slowly and looked deeply into each others eyes.

As much as she was afraid of her feelings for him she was drawn to him like a fly to honey. She began to lean in to kiss him but he turned away and said, "we should probably get back to camp. Tell Charlie what the plan is. We could probably make it to the Casino before sunset if we hurry." He stepped away from her and smiled very lightly at her before turning and walking off to camp leaving her there feeling alone and rejected.


	4. With or Without You

Hatter suddenly felt very depressed. Why did he think she felt the same way for him? She didn't want him, she just wanted to go home. But she had kissed him, or was she just humoring him, or playing with him because he was convenient. He had fallen for girls before and they always used him and threw him away for the next pretty boy they saw, or flirted with him but wouldn't give him a chance, or worst of all didn't even remember his name the next morning. He really wanted someone who would appreciate him, love him. All he ever wanted was to be in love with someone who loved him back but he felt anymore love was a one way street and he kept getting run down.

But he liked her, almost loved her, but was she worth it? He had done more for her than he ever had anyone. Cared for her more than he thought he ever could, yet this was beginning to feel familiar. He was starting to feel the cold sting of rejection and he didn't think he could bear it. He had told himself to walk the other way, to let Jack have her, she deserved better than him, she had better than him, why would she want him? But then things changed. She didn't want Jack anymore, she had let him kiss her, more than once. She even looked like she was going to kiss him again but he had turned away. Why had he done that? He didn't know other than he felt hurt, deep down and he didn't know why. She didn't belong to him yet he felt very attached to her.

He wanted her to be his but she wanted to go home. Even if she did feel the same about him this was the clincher. She was going to leave him, no matter her feelings for him, for home. He couldn't blame her. He didn't think he could leave his home for her and he didn't even think he could ask her to stay for him. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to have her all to himself but he couldn't not let her go home, and he had promised to do everything in his power to get her there, and no matter how much it killed him he would do it. For her.

They had a plan, a relatively good plan if he did say so himself and if luck was on their side Alice would go home tonight. It was what she wanted and he wanted her to have whatever she wanted but a small part of him still hoped their plan would fail. He didn't know what he would do if she fell back through the looking glass. All he wanted was more time with her. He wanted to figure out his feelings and why it hurt him to look at her and most importantly how she felt about him because he refused to feel if there was nothing he could have in return.

No matter what he wanted he didn't have a choice now, it was in fate's hands now. Alice and Charlie were squatted down in the grass next to him peering at the Casino over a small hill on the edge of the forest. They decided the best way to see what happened to the ring was to watch the entrance to the Casino because he knew where the mirror was at was too heavily guarded and that there was no where there to hide and wait.

The ride here was nothing but awkward. Alice and him hadn't said much to each other since the forest but he could feel the tension between them and he wasn't sure if it the good or bad kind. Dusk was upon them with the last shreds of light quickly fading. The lights were already all on in the Casino, which made everything in the area still relatively lit despite the growing darkness in the forest.

He bet Jack had somehow convinced his mother it was all just a big misunderstanding and had just finished having yet another lavish filling meal. He didn't think he had ever had a filling meal in his life. Life had been tough on him and it was hard to imagine what the good life felt like but it was nice to imagine. He envied Jack a lot of things and it upset him how the rich always got everything. Jack probably had a great childhood. Jack still had both his parents. Jack had a home. Jack had a warm bed. Jack had a filling meal at the end of each day. Jack never did a hard days work in his life yet he had the trust of the highest members of the Resistance just because of who he was. Jack had had Alice's love. Did he appreciate any of it? Probably not. What did he have? Nothing, absolutely nothing. He worked so hard, tired to be the good guy, but nothing mattered. Oh well, he was used to it.

"How long do we have to wait?" Alice asked quietly beside him.

"I'm not sure. If the queen still has the ring then she's going to want to start up the mirror as soon as possible so the ring should go out any moment. If the ring has already left we might have to wait all night before we learn anything. Either way we just have to wait."

"I hate waiting." Alice said lying herself flatter against the ground next to him.

"I have a feeling it's going to be a long night."

"That's okay, at least we're in good company." She said as he looked over the grounds of the Casino looking for any sign of movement. He almost jumped when he felt her hand caress his gently. He looked down at their hands and saw her gently rubbing the back of his hand with her fingertips in a comforting way. He then looked over at her and she smiled warmly at him. All of a sudden he had an urge to hold her hand, and he was about to overturn his hand to see if she would accept when Charlie spoke.

Charlie was lying on the other side of Alice and was using one of his inventions to see further across the lawn of the Casino. "I think I see something."

"Really where?!" Alice said excitedly and her hand fell away from his and his heart sank.

At least he had a distraction from his heartache and began searching the grounds for whatever Charlie had seen. It took him a moment but then he saw a large group of people approaching the Casino. They had to get a little bit closer before he could distinguish who they were but when they did there was no mistaking them.

Flanked by armed Suits at least 50 Oysters were being led into the Casino. He heard Alice have an intake of breath at seeing this and he couldn't deny he felt his body tense as well. Not only had they failed, the Queen was upping the anti as well. The Queen had only ever brought in handfuls of Oysters at a time before. Twenty at the worst of times, but fifty. This was just sick and it made his stomach turn seeing them all being herded like sheep. He almost hated himself for working for this terrible system of torture and murder. He was never ignorant of how terrible things were, but he did it anyway. He did it to help but now he wished he had just worked for the resistance alone because knowing what he was really working for wasn't worth any of it.

They watched silently as the Oysters were marched up to the Casino and once they were close enough they could see that they were being followed by a group of even more heavily armed suits with one in the middle carrying a little black box. As soon as soon as he saw it he knew what was inside and his heart sank. They were too late.

"What's that the Suits are carrying?" Alice whispered to him through an already clearly distressed voice.

"It's the ring." He said even though he didn't want to because he knew it was going to break her heart even though they all knew it was already too late.

His words struck her like a whip. He heard her sobs catch in her throat as she tried to both not cry and not make any noise at the same time. "Oh Alice." He said scooting towards her on the hill and wrapping his arm over her shoulder as she covered her mouth to muffle her sobs.

He noticed she started moving trying to sit up but he put pressure on her back, holding her to the ground because some of the Suits were looking around and the last thing they needed was to get spotted. She stayed still until the last of them were in the Casino and then he let go of her and he sat up with her. As soon as she was upright she flung herself into his arms and began to silently cry. He held onto her tightly and even though he had gotten what he had wanted, it wasn't worth her tears and he wished he hadn't wanted it at all.

"Shhh… It's okay." He whispered to her.

"What are we going to do?" She cried.

"I promise I'll think of something else. It's going to be okay." He held onto her even tighter as she buried her face into his neck as she continued to cry. He looked up and saw Charlie watching them looking concerned and like he wanted to do something for Alice but he didn't know what. He suddenly felt awkward at realizing someone was watching this intimate moment, but also realized it was only intimate to them because of the things that had happened over the past day. Still, having Charlie unknowingly look on felt like he also knew every thought inside his head.

So he looked away from Charlie and focused on Alice whom he knew was trying hard to pull herself together, and in only a few moments she pulled away from him having halted her tears completely. She took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks before looking from him to Charlie.

"Are you alright?" Charlie asked her still looking worried.

"I'm alright." She said with a soft smile to reassure him.

"We should get back to the fortress. We can talk about what to do next there. Yeah?" He asked and Alice just nodded.

He really had no idea what they were possibly going to do next and it bothered him that it seemed like it was all on him to figure out. For some reason he was unreasonably tired and he didn't want to think anymore, although he worried about their situation the entire journey back to the fortress.

Once there he was fed up with his brain. He always knew what to do. Always had a plan, something to do. Now he was plum out of ideas and didn't want to face Alice empty handed. Again they hadn't talked at all on the way and he really didn't want to talk once they had arrived, but he knew the big questions were about to start coming.

He helped Alice down before tying up the horse, taking extra care not to make eye contact with her. Maybe if he didn't look at her the conversation would never get started. This plan was working well enough until they made it back to camp where Charlie was starting to make a fire.

"Hatter!" She called to him as he was walking away.

"Alice…" He said exasperated as he turned. She looked at him hopefully and he felt a pain in his chest. "Look, I really don't know what we're going to do, okay. I can't think right now. Ask me in the morning. I'll think of a plan by then, yeah? In the morning." He hoped this was enough for her for now. At least he was being honest and more than anything that's what she seemed to want from him.

He had began to turn away but she called him back again with his name. "I can't think of a plan right now okay! I'm too tired. Just leave me alone until morning alright." He didn't mean to snap at her and he immediately regretted it but he just felt so stretched, like a dollop of butter scraped over too much bread. He was wearing thin.

"That wasn't what I was going to say." She said sounding a little hurt and he felt bad. "I actually came up with an idea on the way here, and I was going to tell you about it."

He looked at her in surprise. "You came up with a plan?"

She nodded and smiled slightly almost like she was begging for his praise. "I've been thinking a lot lately about all those stories you told me," he raised his eyebrow in question waiting for her to go on, "and I thought that maybe we should try looking for the White Queen. Maybe if she's still alive she could help. Maybe she would know what to do."

"Are you joking?"

"No." She said surprised.

"How are we meant to find her? She disappeared over two hundred years ago and no one knows where she is."

"But you said she was banished to Winterland."

"Yes, but no one has ever gone up there and lived to tell the tale. It is a very dangerous place."

"There could still be a chance she's alive."

"No, no there isn't."

"Why not? Charlie's managed to stay alive all this time, why not her?"

"She'd be over 300 hundred years old if she were still alive. She wasn't exactly young when she left in the first place. Besides it's Winterland. People are sent there to die. And Winterland is vast, there would be no way to find her. No one even knows where her castle is anymore let alone where she is in that damn cold wasteland."

"If I might interject," Charlie said nervously because Hatter had begun to raise his voice and Charlie never liked to see them fight. "It's been a long time now, and I've never been there, but, I think I know the way to her castle."

"That's great Charlie." Alice said smiling at this glimmer of hope.

"What do you hope to find their Alice! Hum? What!?"

"I don't know but don't you think it's worth a look?" She said trying to remain clam while he was yelling at her.

"No I don't."

"Maybe someone left something behind. A clue to where she went."

"Even if they did, why does it matter? She's dead."

"I don't believe that."

"Why!"

"All those stories about magic." He scoffed and turned his back on her. She was unbelievable. "She doesn't sound like the kind of women who would just give up. She wouldn't just lay down and die, she loved Wonderland. Yes she left, but I think she only left to gather her strength and wits, maybe in hopes that one day someone would come looking for her. Maybe she knows how to take down the Red Queen. Maybe…" He swiftly turned back to her.

"Why are you so fixated with this? She didn't have any magic. She couldn't talk to animals or trees or change the whether. She couldn't do any of that. She was just our Queen and now we just want to think of her as more because those were good times but she wasn't anything special. She was just a kind woman. That's all the magic she had."

"Why are you so quick to doubt?"

"Why should we spend our time tracking down some dead woman when we could be doing something real."

"What else can we do? Really? The Resistance is against us, we don't have the ring anymore, Jack's probably imprisoned and my dad can't remember anything and the Queen has a lock down on the Casino and the ring not to mention the hit man that's tailing us. What else can we do here?!"

She had backed him into a corner and he didn't know what to say. "I don't know yet but if you would just let me think."

"There is nothing else we can do here, and we can't hide out in the fortress forever when there is someone tracking us. They're going to find us here eventually and then we'll be captured as well."

"If you would just give me time to think!"

"Charlie knows where her castle is. Let's just go there for the time being and look for clues. If we don't find anything that's okay, we could hide out there for a while. It would probably be a better place to hide than this, especially since no one but Charlie knows where it even is."

He growled in frustration and Charlie who had been looking away from them awkwardly while they were fighting now began to shuffle away into the woods trying to look like he just remembered something very important he had to do.

"Hatter please," she begged in a soft voice now that they were alone. He felt the headiness in her voice pull at his heartstrings but he wasn't going to give up just yet.

"If you would just give me time I could think of something to do."

"I don't want to wait!"

"Well maybe if you ever did things wouldn't be as bad as they are now!"

"What do you mean?" His brain told him to shut up and just back away now but his mouth was already going before he could stop himself.

"Maybe if you hadn't run away to the Casino that time like I told you not to, if you had just waited… or thought before you ran away with Jack we might still have the ring, we might still have connections to the resistance, we might not be as fucked as we are right now!" He really shouldn't have said that. She took a step back from him and he saw tears brimming in her eyes. "I didn't mean that, I'm sorry, I'm just angry."

"Well maybe if you ever helped me in the first place when I had an idea maybe things wouldn't go as badly! If you were ever there from the beginning instead of just coming in at the last minute!" He opened his mouth to retort but she was quicker. "And Charlie and I are leaving tomorrow morning to go find the White Queens castle. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'm leaving… with or without you." With that she turned on her heels and left him feeling worse than ever before.


	5. In Love Too Late

Alice was so upset she couldn't even cry, she couldn't only hiss in anger and she had the great urge to break something. How dare he say something like that to her! Why was everything she wanted to do wrong and stupid? Men! Pompous assholes the lot of them! What hurt the most was the fact that that's what he really thought of her. Did he really think she was such a screw up and couldn't do anything right? Most of all she felt he was right. Every time she tried to do something it all fell apart and even worse things seemed to happen. Was this just going to be one more of those times, and what would she loose when it was all over? All she had left was Charlie and Hatter, and even though she was beyond angry at him she didn't want to loose him. She didn't want to think about what she would do without him. Then she remembered her last words to him and she felt her heart clench. He had told her he was sorry about what he had said, but that didn't make it hurt any less. As much as his words hurt her she didn't want him gone.

She had walked to the far edge of the fortress by now and stopped. She shouldn't have walked away from him. They needed to talk about this, rationally and reasonably without all the shouting, and probably apologizing to each other wouldn't hurt either. So she turned around and began slowly walking back. She hoped this time they could have a civilized conversation about all of this, and as much as she wanted to hit him and yell at him some more she promised herself she wouldn't. She knew she needed him, at least as a friend. Someone to help her through this terrible mess that was her life. Someone to talk to when she was feeling alone. She didn't want to be alone.

She hadn't realized how far she had walked, but it seemed a lot further walking slowly back than when she had walked furiously away. When she reached the camp it was empty and she felt a great strain on her heart. "Hatter…" She called out and got no reply. "Hatter!" She said louder and again no one answered her. She began to feel slightly panicked. Where was he? Had he really gone? That thought was too much to bear so she began looking for him around the camp. He must have just wondered off a bit and couldn't hear her. That must be it.

She walked all around the camp calling his name and found that he wasn't anywhere. She refused to think that he was gone and began checking the paths around the fortress that she knew of and even walked up to her hill overlooking the city. She called his name wherever she went and even the wind refused to answer her. She felt her body becoming very hot as she began to panic. She wanted to find him. To tell him she was sorry, that she never meant to run him off. She needed him. She didn't want to be all alone.

She somehow managed to make it back to camp despite how terrible she felt and was surprised her legs worked at all. She supposed her motivation was the hope that he would be there when she returned but she wished in vain and the camp felt even emptier than when she had left. She felt her throat clench up as she felt herself about to start crying when she heard a noise.

"Hatter?" She asked the air and looked around herself to see who was coming and her heart fell when she saw Charlie meandering back to the camp.

"Have you and Harbinger decided what we're going to do yet?" Charlie asked quietly as he looked around for Hatter whom he didn't know was gone. She supposed he was afraid they were still fighting. She knew he didn't like it when they did.

"Hatter's gone." She couldn't believe she was saying the words. They hurt so much more now that they were out in the air.

"What? How?..." Charlie mumbled confused.

"We had a fight, and I walked away and by the time I came back he was gone and I can't find him anywhere." She said trying her hardest to have her voice not crack as she talked.

"He'll come back, don't worry."

"I want to believe that, but I'm afraid he won't. We said some mean things to each other. I didn't mean what I said but I was angry and I'm afraid he believed it and left like I told him to." A silent tear fell down her cheek and she quickly whipped it away. Charlie stood their mumbling silently not knowing what to do for her so she decided to move the conversation in a different direction. "So how far away is the White Queen's castle?"

"Oh… um… It's at least a two day ride by horse. Maybe three. I've never been there myself but my father was one of the messengers of the queen and I remember when he left for his assignments he would be gone about five days so that should be a two day ride one way. Her castle is far up in the hills away from the valley."

"Why was her castle built so far away?"

"It was but one of her three castles. She had one here in the valley, one in the hills and another one but I can't remember where it was for she never used it. But her favorite castle was the one in the hills for its seclusion and all of the nature. She loved nature about all else."

"I bet it's beautiful up there, or at least was."

"One can only imagine."

"So, when's the earliest we can leave?"

"Since it's already dark I think it would be best to wait until morning."

"I agree." She said looking off into the forest when she thought she heard a noise but she saw nothing.

"I know what will cheer you up. Dinner. What do you want?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Nonsense, you have to eat something. What would you like?"

"Whatever you're having is fine." She said yet again finding herself gazing off into the forest hoping to see Hatter coming back.

"I wouldn't worry about him. He'll be back before you know it. Before I finish cooking even. He probably just went to clear his head. He really cares about you, you know."

"Really?"

"Yes, can't you see it?" She didn't reply and instead stared guiltily at the ground. "When you left with Jack I wanted to immediately go after you but he said no, to let you go that you would be okay. He looked so sad though despite his words and I gave him one of my horses because he said he was going to go hide out deep in the forest. When he was gone I decided to go after you anyway and on the way I ran into him. He was following you anyways. He couldn't let you go off without him. He cares about you and he'll be back before you can miss him. Now what to make for dinner… Maybe some chicken stir fry… or roasted chicken… something with chicken defiantly." Charlie muttered to himself as he wondered off to prepare the food.

Charlie was wrong though, because she already missed him. More than anything. More than home. He was her insurance policy that everything was going to be okay and without him everything just felt worse. Without him she felt she would never see home again, like nothing good would ever happen to her again. Like her luck had finally run out.

She wanted to believe Charlie. She wanted Hatter to come back and soon. She wanted to believe in him, have trust that he would come back for her but she didn't think she could. The way he had yelled at her, the things he had said. Just when she thought things were going well between them. Every man always gave her a reason not to love them, maybe this was Hatters. She had been so close to giving her heart to him, which was what hurt the most about his absence.

She had been so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice she had been staring off into the forest all this time until Charlie came back to the fireside with whatever was for dinner singing his favorite song. She jumped slightly as she hadn't heard him approach but then she became too obviously aware that the clock was ticking. Charlie had reassured her that Hatter would be back before dinner was done and for once time moved both slow and fast at the same time. She keep looking back and forth from the cooking food to the forest hoping that just once she would spy him far off in the trees returning to her. The food seemed to cook slower than it should have but every second that ticked by seemed like too much and was also one less second Hatter had to appear.

She tried hard not to let Charlie see how much her heart broke when he announced the food was done and slowly dished up three plates despite Hatters absence. Charlie set Hatter's plate on the log he had sat on for dinner a few nights ago before he handed her her plate. It made her want to cry how assured Charlie was that Hatter was going to appear any moment for dinner when she knew deep inside that he was never coming back.

Charlie tried to lighten the mood during dinner by telling her some of his favorite jokes and she tried to humor him and laugh even when she didn't understand what he was saying but they both knew nothing helped. Her eye kept darting to the lonely plate set across from her and the absence of a man that filled the area more than if he was actually sitting there.

It was a long time before she came to the realization that dinner was lasting far too long for reason, especially since she had hardly toughed anything on her plate. She knew Charlie was trying hard to ration his food out to make the time last longer, to give Hatter more of a chance to make it to dinner, but it was more than obvious now that he wasn't going to be joining them tonight.

Even after Charlie was done eating he sat there trying to think of any joke or small story he could tell her to take her mind off the growing pain in her chest but nothing worked and the night grew darker and Hatter became less and less there. Eventually Charlie became too tired to stay up with her any longer and excused himself politely for bed. He encouraged her to do the same as they would be beginning a long journey tomorrow and she nodded and said she would in a few minutes. They both knew it was a lie but accepted it and moved on.

She had hardly taken two bites of her food but decided it was time to put it away. She thought about clearing Hatter's plate away as well but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Clearing his plate away was accepting that he wasn't going to come back tonight, and even though she knew this was the truth she didn't want to accept it. She wanted some kind of hope and it felt like his plate was the only thing she had linking her to him. That maybe if she left his plate out he would meander back when he was ready to eat, but if she put it away it felt like she was turning him away yet again and that he had nothing to come back for.

When she was done she sat back down and watched his plate for a while as if he would magically materialize there and smile at her as he ate. She smiled at the thought of his warm smile and one large dimple and a large tear fell down her cheek. She never knew how much she liked his company until he was gone. She guessed you never knew how much you would miss someone until they were gone. Sure she had left him time and again trying to forge her own way home in his messed up world but that was her choice, and this was his. Now she knew how he must have felt when she abandoned him all those times. The only difference was he always knew where to find her, and she hadn't the first idea about where he would have gone. If she knew where he was she felt like she would go after him in a heart beat but she didn't know the first place to look. The forest was beyond huge and there was no reasonable means she had to find him. All she knew was that she would do anything to have him near her again.

She sat by the slowly dying fire for a long time before she finally made herself believe he wasn't coming and made herself go to bed. She lied in bed but didn't feel like sleeping at all, and her mind was too busy thinking to try to sleep anyways. All she could think about was Hatter and how much it hurt her that he left. He had promised her he would look after her. Where was that now? He knew she had trust issues and yet he pressed the issue until she truly did trust him and then decided to break her heart. He had made her think that she meant a lot to him, as much as he did to her but that apparently wasn't the case. It hurt so much how she had believed in him, trusted him, wanted to be with him and he had thrown it all away.

Was there any man out there who was worth it? Every time she fell for a guy they always left her or betrayed her. She wanted Hatter to be different. She felt a greater attraction to him than any other man she had been with even though she didn't know why. He wasn't like all the other guys and she thought that would be what made this work but he proved just the same as all the rest.

She tried to stop thinking about him and concentrate on what she would have to do tomorrow. The beginning of a long journey that seemed even longer and lonelier without Hatter. When she first thought of the plan she didn't even think about the possibility that he wasn't going to come with her, but now it was all too easy to imagine. She had known it wouldn't be no short or simple task but just the idea of Hatter's company and help made it all seem easy and attainable. Even if they did fail at finding the White Queen and just had to hide out up in the hills it didn't seem so bad so long as she had him. Now it all just felt like a yawning nightmare heading towards her at an alarming rate. As soon as they left tomorrow she was truly walking away from him because he didn't know where they were going and she someone how knew that they were never coming back.

Hatter's words still stung at her. She wanted to hope she wasn't dead but Hatter was right. She was dead. Her last hope of getting home was long gone and now she was bound to a life of loneliness in the hills. A life of hiding out and trying to make due with very little. Pretty much what Charlie had lived his entire life and the thought made her deeply sad. It didn't seem so bad if she thought that Hatter might be there too, but alas he was gone and she felt evermore alone.

She suddenly began crying hard and curled herself up into a ball. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't escape the fact that she was heartbroken. She had wanted so badly for things to go right for once, and she thought Hatter wanted the same thing but obviously not. She had pushed him away one too many times and he took note and actually left. Why did she always push the people she loved away? Yes, she thought, she loved him. She had to otherwise it wouldn't hurt this much. She had been too afraid to tell him, even more of being honest with herself, and now he was gone and he didn't even know how much she cared about him.

She suddenly hated herself. For all the things she had done to him for everything she should have said but didn't and this was her punishment. She was doomed to be alone. This always happened but she had finally lost someone she didn't mean to push away. Someone who cared about her more than anyone ever had and she hadn't appreciated him like she should have.

Her emotions boiled over and she cried for a long time. She buried her head in the sleeves of his jacket she still wore, the only piece of him she still had left. She eventually fell asleep just as the sun began to rise and she didn't see the boy she missed more than the whole world wonder back into camp. He sat down beside her and bushed her hair out of her face and looked at her still damp cheeks and still face. He sat with her a while before his own means took him to his feet again and he headed back the way he had come.


	6. Three Little Words

Alice jumped a little as she awoke. She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at all until she saw the first rays of sunlight shining through the forest. At first she felt okay until she remembered where she was and all of her pain. She laid still not wanting to get up and face the day until she heard soft rustling sounds coming from the camp.

She slowly sat up and looked towards the sound and couldn't believe her eyes. Hatter stood by the empty fire pit with Charlie's two horses. He must have brought them into camp for they were now saddled and also laden with a few bundles. Hatter didn't see her for he was concentrating on trying to untangle a bunch of rope. She didn't know what to do or say, and at first she thought she must have been dreaming because she couldn't believe he was actually here.

Hatter became frustrated with his task and ended up throwing the rope to the ground in anger and instead turned his attention to examining a bunch of objects he had laid out at his feet. She noticed there was a pile of blankets and rags, a few canteens and seemingly all the food in the camp he could find along with a few other nick knacks.

She slowly got up and approached him but he was too in his own head to hear someone approaching so she said his name quietly and he turned to her and smiled when he saw her. "Hey," he said approaching her slowly. "Sleep well?"

Before she knew it she was running at him and she threw herself into his arms and began crying because she was so happy to see him. He held her tightly to him and she swore she heard him whisper, "oh, that feels good." Then he heard her weeping and he immediately began rocking her back and forth as he asked, "what's wrong?"

"I thought you had left me." She cried into his shoulder. "I was afraid I'd never see you again."

"Oh Alice," he muttered. "I would never leave you."

She slowly pulled away from him but just enough to look into his face. "Where did you go?"

"I just took a walk. I needed to clear my head and think and I accidently ended up a lot further away than I had planned and a little lost too. But I eventually found my way back." He said smiling at her but he noticed she still looked upset so he stopped. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, I really shouldn't have. I don't know what I was thinking. You're right though, and it is a good plan. I just hope you can forgive me."

"No, you were right. It is a stupid idea and I'm sorry I snapped at you. I never meant to run you off."

"It's not a stupid idea. I was just upset, and I think we should go. At least for the part about a better hide out because I agree it is a little dangerous to stay here. I think we need to get away."

"You're coming with us then?"

"Of course. I could never let you go without me. Besides I don't trust Charlie to be able to look after you. He's a bit old and you're quite a lot of trouble you know." He said laughing slightly. "So you really missed me?"

She couldn't resist anymore and gave him a kiss instead of an answer. He kissed her back with vigor and they kissed like long lost lovers rediscovering each other after being apart for years. She felt her heart ignite with passion and her body yearn for him. She had never felt like this before and it was strange and new but she liked it all the same. The kiss engulfed them so that days could have passed and they wouldn't have known but eventually Hatter slowly pulled away from her and looked deeply in her eyes as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I never knew I could be missed so much." He said with a smile and she took hold of his hand that was rested gently against her cheek and he left her hold it.

"I missed you so much. Please don't ever leave me again."

"I promise. A heard of Jabberwocks couldn't drag me away from you." She felt her heart strain at the words she longed to say to him but didn't know how. She had always been too protective of her heart and didn't give it away easily but Hatter already had all her love, it was just letting him know that was difficult.

"Hatter… I…"

"I mean it. I'll always be here as long as you want me."

"I love you Hatter." She muttered quickly and she noticed how he froze at her words almost as if he didn't know how to comprehend them, so she continued. "I love you and I want to be with you, Hatter, and I really hope you feel the same."

Hatter remained still for a few more seconds before he seemingly regained consciousness and spoke. "You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that. I want to be with you more than you know and I love you more than anything. I love you, Alice. I really do."

She felt a huge weight lift off of her chest and she was suddenly so happy she could scream but she settled for kissing him ravenously. They kissed each other like they were starving, and each others kisses were the only food that satisfied them. Suddenly each others lips meant so much more than before. Before they were only kissing each other to test the waters and to fulfill there own want but now they knew what they meant to each other and what it meant to kiss each other so lovingly. It was love and they were meant to be together.

Hatter held onto her with one hand on the small of her back and other on the side of her neck and was holding her to him so tightly that it was nearly painful. She realized then how much she meant to him. She had known how much she felt for him and she had felt the care in his actions towards her but she never knew how much of his love he had been keeping inside of him waiting to break free. Now his dam had broken and his love was washing over her in waves.

She had always been afraid of this moment with relationships before. This was the part where she usually turned and ran. Always when the dam of love broke free she felt like she was drowning and looked for the first rescue she could find but with Hatter it felt different. She wanted to swim in his love forever and she knew what was different this time. It was her own love that kept her head above water and helped her ride his waves and not drown but enjoy the ride.

She held onto him tightly too and rested her hand on the back of his neck and let her fingers run through the ends of his hair. Then she felt Hatters tongue snake between them and gently taste her bottom lip as it begged entrance. She didn't take much persuading and her lips slowly parted for him and if she thought his lips felt good his tongue made her see stars. Before she hadn't wanted to let him go, now she didn't think she could if she tried and she felt he shared that sentiment.

If she had any doubts she was in love before they were long gone now. They kissed for so long she felt their heartbeats must have synchronized by now. She never knew love could feel so good. Trusting the man she was kissing not to hurt her and protect her love and not break her heart felt amazing. She wondered if everyone who was in love felt this way or if she was just lucky.

She felt him beginning to pull away from her and as much as she didn't want him to she let him go, but not first without pulling him back to her a few times which worked for a few minutes each before he began retreating again.

When he parted from her it was only with his lips but he was still so close that when he spoke to her she felt his lips moving against hers still and his breath on her face. "I love you." He breathed between them.

"I love you too." She echoed back to him. He kissed her again but much less aggressively so that there lips just gently played with each others and it was much easier to break away when they finally did.

They simply gazed into each others eyes for a long time without saying anything and smiling at each other just happy to be with one another. "So…" He said smiling even wider as he broke the silence between them. "No more Jack then?" He asked with a false smile as he tried not to show his worry. She felt bad for he was still worried about where he stood with her despite her declaration of love. She felt his past experiences in relationships must have been terrible.

"No more Jack." She reassured him. "Only you."

He smiled at her genuinely and gave her a quick kiss. "We should probably get back to packing, just in case Charlie wakes up." He said glancing over his shoulder where she saw Charlie was lying in his hammock still snoring and fast asleep thankfully, although when they had been kissing anyone could have been watching and she wouldn't have cared. It was probably best they hadn't though.

"Yeah." She said smiling at him even though she never wanted to leave his arms. "I can make breakfast while you finish with…" She paused as she looked a the organized mess around them, "this."

"Good idea." He said and she started moving away from him to the food. "Hey," he called and she turned. "Try and make something we can eat on the move, I kind of want to get out of here as soon as possible."

"Okay." She said and began to turn again and this time he reached out and grabbed her arm and turned her to back to him.

"Hey," he said again before he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her once more. "Love you," he quietly said after they parted.

"Love you too." She said before he reluctantly let her go and busy herself with breakfast.

They kept smiling at each other over their work. They were those special secret little smiles where they knew something the rest of the world didn't and there little secret was the best ever. They were in love and she had never known three little words could make her feel like this.

**Author's Note: I decided to put this at the bottom because I knew with my ending from the last chapter my note at the top of this one would be run over in favor of the text. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads this story and especially to everyone who left me such lovely reviews the past few weeks, your all amazing! ~hugs~ You all make my day and writing for you all is actually worth shirking a little homework... lol :D **


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